From the time I was a tween and right into my twenties and thirties, I gathered information.
Memorizing emergency contact numbers, work numbers for parents, family phone numbers, names and addresses of businesses, etc was not enough. I needed to know/remember as much as I could.
I attempted to commit to memory everything I came across in case I needed it one day. From random facts about the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World to how the original Siamese twins were able to make love and raise separate families on two different farms, conjoined as they were.
I studied encyclopedias and dictionaries. I watched current affairs programs and made sure I knew the names of political and cultural l figures and their stand on issues dominating the day.
I thought that if I learned or knew everything that crossed my path, I would never be caught off guard – that somehow the gathered “data” could get me out of tight corners.
I grew up feeling as not worthy of occupying the space that I did. I felt I had to earn my place or prove my worth; I wanted people to think of me as someone impressive and worthy of notice.
Recently, I saw a diagram of female genitalia with a headline decrying how many women do not know the the lay of the land “down there”. I smiled to myself thinking, “How is it possible that a woman wouldn’t know her own private parts?”.
But then I realized, if I did not have a clearly labeled diagram in front of me I would probably mix some things up too. This thought was soon followed by a little self-shaming, followed by a big “Who cares?” and relief.
I am so glad that I don’t care about knowing everything in the way that I used to. I am happily gravitating towards not being super informed and still being able to feel whole and worthwhile.
I am perfectly content to admit my ignorance of latest fashion trends or who the cool music makers are (I never thought that I would let myself slide so low!).
Instead, I am intrigued about following my curiosities and bliss.
It is still a new framework for me to truly adapt to, for example, one explicit joy that captures me is, nature, and the play of light and movement. I get so wrapped up in just being present to it that I forget schedules and attending to daily life matters.
Here’s an everyday example of the dilemmas I encounter: enjoy the breathtaking sunset or get the kid to bed on time? A choice I faced yesterday: finish writing this blog, or watch an insect moving at glacial pace on the screen door?
You know what I chose (I watched the insect) and the reason why this post is a day late. But, I think you would be proud of me. I am choosing bliss and timelessness over schedules just to see what happens to me and my life.
So far nothing but goodness and soulfulness is opening in me. I am still completing tasks but the experiences I value are higher up on the list.
I am at a place where I can see the power of ignorance as bliss; because I can choose what I am ignorant or less informed about, or, even if I don’t consciously choose my ignorance, I know one thing for sure and that is my ignorance is not going be the end of the world.
And this little re-frame is a healthy, invigorating possibility, permitting me to take it easy and recognize that my soul wants me to include bliss and timelessness as choices in my daily life.
How do you truly want to spend your time? Do you allow yourself to follow your curiosities and bliss? Do you encounter roadblocks and reasons when you want to set your spirit free? Please share your thoughts with us and help create new reframes that move freedom and self expression to the top of the to do lists.