A Natural Cure For Loneliness And Depression

A Natural Cure For Loneliness And Depression

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Do you ever turn away from joy?

Do overly content people make you feel uncomfortable?

Have you ever withdrawn from the world, believing that no one else would understand why? Knowing that no one else could understand?

Are you ever just too tired, worn down or exhausted to even try to explain what is going on?

Believe it or not, there are more of us in that boat than you would imagine.

I would hazard that almost all of us, at one point or another, have experienced this kind of disconnect in our lives. For an unfortunate few, it is an ongoing event without respite.

There are many causes for our feelings of isolation, loneliness, and disconnection. Over the last 24 years, I have listened to stories, memories, and experiences of clients and found that neglect, abuse of all kinds (physical, emotional, sexual), physical injury, the death of loved ones and many other types of trauma can lead to dissociation from self, others and life in general.

When we experience loneliness, or we feel isolated such experiences impact not only us but our families, friends and the community as a whole.

How can we heal that? How can someone who is deeply hurt, begin to recover from their isolation and disassociation?

In sessions with my clients, I noticed and continue to notice that the brighter notes in their lives that uplift them or bring harmony tend to be experiences in nature.

There is a somewhat controversial hypothesis put forward by Edward Wilson called Biophilia Hypothesis that I lean towards. It is the idea that humans evolved as creatures deeply enmeshed with the intricacies of nature and that we still have this affinity with nature ingrained in our genotype.

Perhaps that is why when we connect with nature, we heal faster. We reconnect to our roots. We feel home and belonging. Of course, it doesn’t heal everything or address the many complexities inherent with trauma, but it does present a starting point.

In studies across the board- prison inmates, patients in hospitals — those who have a view of a natural landscape recover more quickly. Currently, studies are showing that children in natural playgrounds versus concrete playgrounds are likely to think more creatively, play cooperatively and invent their own games.

Nature offers healing balm to our sufferings and it is within reach for all of us. It can be the sky above or the sound of the wind. It can be a blade of grass or the trees along the highway.

If we look to nature and begin to seek her out with more regularity, not only as part of our search for wholeness but as a place to play and celebrate we can begin to soothe the neural networks that make us feel isolated and lonely.

It doesn’t matter what time of year or day it is; nature is always available to take us in. We just need to make the first move and begin a process of healing and wholeness.

Here are 3 simple ways to help you make the first move with nature:

1 Make a date with nature – find a park or a trail that you can go on and set a date on your calendar. Plan a picnic or shop for some delicious treats t0 take with you. Make it something to look forward to.

2 Invite a friend or family member to join you – sometimes it is easier to go into nature by taking a buddy along with you.

3 Take time to connect with the nature around you when in the park or on the hike. Use all your senses. Smell the air, listen to the sounds, feel the textures around you and observe what you feel.

If you feel afraid or unsure of yourself, don’t worry. Take a few breaths and ease into the experience. Step by step, moment by moment you will begin to connect. Make a commitment to do this more than once in a while and you will find your way home.

Don’t Despair When You Can’t Feel Grateful

Don’t Despair When You Can’t Feel Grateful

Have you ever been in the pits of despair, only to have someone come along and say:

“Cheer up. It could be worse”

or,

“Look on the bright side!”

or,

“Think about what you have instead of what you don’t have.”

I have and in those moments, I wanted to shout back at them. “Leave me alone. I don’t feel lucky. I don’t see the bright side.”

We’ve all been there, unable to feel grateful for what we have because we feel empty or broken inside. It’s hard to feel grateful when your life sucks but here’s something just for such occasions.

In this post I want to take a deeper look at those times in our daily lives when we don’t/can’t feel grateful or present to all the good things happening in our lives. I know it is hard to feel gratitude when we feel betrayed by life or our health is failing or a loved one has died? How do we come to gratitude when we feel abandoned or alienated by our passions and love?

I feel this happens partly because we feel empty inside. So many people feel like they are not good enough that they can’t get to truly feeling grateful. What I mean here is that when you don’t feel like you are enough within yourself to be loved or appreciated, when you feel like you need so much to even get your face above the water line to stop yourself drowning, it is virtually impossible to be glad about anything. In these situations, we are treading water; in survival mode. It may not always be this extreme but even the smallest flicker of the survival instincts can close the channel to receiving and experiencing the goodness that is all around us.

If you ever find yourself snarling or not being able to muster a list of things to be grateful for then I recommend these 2 exercises for you.

Exercise 1

Our imagination when consciously directed becomes a steadfast ally and helper for creating health and wellness. Simply follow the prompts and fully visualize the scenarios below for a speedy pick me up.

When you just waking up or getting ready to fall asleep or when you are feeling a slide into no self-confidence imagine that:

  • not just one but many are grateful for your being – who could these people be? Friends, colleagues, children?
  • you are loved – what does that feel like?
  • you mean so much to someone – how does it feel to be so loved?
  • you light up life – think of a time you did that.
  • you bring freshness to the monotony of life – your thoughts, ideas, and feelings that create freedom.
  • people (include four leggeds, plants, fish) look forward to being with you
  • many feel blessed to know you – this is a spectacular vision

Exercise 2

This one is a little bit more challenging. Dig deep and ply those imagination muscles. Give these exercises a go and visualize these scenarios even if they are only done for a few seconds at a time, they will begin to steer you in the direction of wholeness and fulfillment.

  • walk as someone who has time
  • move in life as someone who has everything
  • give as someone who has been loved deeply
  • speak with the knowing that you will be heard
  • listen as though your listening is helping that person bloom
  • look up, look around – see how far you can see
  • inhale and exhale as though you were the universe breathing

Feeling empty, unloved or not good enough is not fun for anyone. Choosing to do something about it is a freedom that we all have. This freedom can be exercised no matter how dire the straits..if we practice these exercises when things aren’t so bad then we can come to rely on the muscles they create when things head south.

Did this post resonate with you? What spoke to you? Have you ever found yourself unable to enjoy yourself because you want more than you already have? Tell me your story I would love to hear it.