by Navjit Kandola
Today, I want to ask you to invest in yourself. Why do I ask? Because, you are worth it.
Recently a client shared that she was looking at making a 7 figure income this year. When we first started working together she was in debt and struggling to find what she was meant to do. In time, we came to understand what she was passionate about and how she could succeed doing what she loved.
Another client recently shared that he is celebrating his 5 year anniversary heading his own successful company. I remember the session we did where he was deciding to leave his job.
A third client became a leader in the self-development industry and is now a coveted speaker and international author.
They all have one thing in common. They all invested in their inner growth. They had the courage to look at the good, the bad and the ugly. Of course, this type of self-awareness doesn’t happen in a 30-minute appointment or weekend seminar. It takes time, but like any great endeavour, it is worth the investment. The results speak for themselves.
Investing in yourself isn’t something we are taught. Instead, we think of education as something to get done and then we go to work.
The truth is, education should never end. Real success requires a continuous flexing of the muscles and learning new skills. There is no greater knowledge than self-knowledge. Nor is there any knowledge harder to gain. It is this self-knowledge that helps us to flourish, become champions, leaders but it is, often times hidden behind layers of low self- esteem, negativity and fears.
If you don’t know what your strengths are, how can you hope to succeed? The same is true for the opposite. Without knowing your weaknesses, you unwittingly fall prey to them again and again.
Speak to any successful person and they will tell you: get a coach, work on yourself. Learn how to be you even better. Get clear, boost your self-confidence and take consistent actions.
That’s why I want to ask you: do you know what your strengths are? Are you leveraging them to your advantage? Can you take the consistent action steps to gain momentum and get results that fulfill you?
Take a moment right now and ask yourself: am I ready to dive in and discover who I am? Am I ready to transform my life? Am I tired of watching others succeed whilst I dream?
If your answer is YES then take the next step and give yourself the gift of a Free Discovery Session with me. It’s your turn to turn on!
by Navjit Kandola
Persepolis – Michael Parkes
I have experienced all kinds of success: various degrees and diplomas, learning to drive (a big achievement for me), being able to to stand up for myself, recovering from physical and emotional trauma, living in different parts of the world. Becoming a mother.
Some of these achievements may not seem such a big deal for others but for me they are massive because of the inner journey each one required.
I had to be brave, I had to transform a mindset and take action steps regardless of discomfort or the number of obstacles in my way. Not just once or twice but daily to gain the traction and strength to move closer to that which I desired.
Each of these success stories has tears, doubts, layers of shed skins. Each story has moments of total lucidity and vision. Each story at some point required a leap of faith.
When I was a child, I thought just having an idea was enough to make things happen. Then, as a teenager, I thought, do what they tell you and that will create success, that is, study hard, go to college, get a job and so on. In my twenties, I dove into my spirituality and encountered ideas about non-attachment and how to feel wholeness within oneself.
My thinking has had to change; having the brilliant idea for a dog show for a school fundraiser was not enough to raise money I realized on the day of the event when nobody showed up. I was a pesky 9 year old at the time.
I had to walk and move my body even though my body was twisting in pain in order to heal it.
Realizing our full potential usually requires a transformation of one or many mindsets.
We all have this idea that we have to do it alone, that somehow it shows how resilient we are or how powerful we are. But in truth, nobody does it by themselves. If you look at athletes, politicians, industry leaders they all have one thing in common: they have people helping them to be their best self, to reach their full potential. Whether it is performance coaches, cooks, physical trainers or psychics they get the support they need.
In all my success stories there is one thing I wish I had given more of to myself of and that is support of mentors. In each instance I feel being mentored would have made things much easier and I could have moved through difficult situations with more understanding and less struggle.
This is the mindset shift I would like to consider today: get the support you need. You don’t have to do it all by yourself.
What would it feel like to become super clear about your goals and create action steps? What would it feel like to be on track?
As I seek the help of professionals, coaches, and healers to keep me at my best, I suggest that you do too. Even if you feel that you are at the top of your game, you may need a little more wiggle room for ease, ways to deal with stress or deepen your sense of self.
Or, if you have never had support then this may be the time to give it a whirl. Either way, if you are curious but not ready to commit, try a Discovery Session with me, at no cost to you, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I am looking forward to connecting with you.
by Navjit Kandola
(This is part 3 of the “Fixing yourself for future success” series. Have you read the 2 previous posts: Can You Fix Failure? and, Breaking The Spell of Repeat Failures? If you haven’t yet, please have a look at them when you get a chance or if you want to follow the steps in order).
In Step One, Breaking the Spell of Repeat Failures, I had you look at memories in which you allowed fear to take the lead instead of following your desired feelings. What did you discover? Are there any lingering negative patterns from yesteryear that you would like to vanquish?
For many of us, fear or survival consciousness (subtle whisperings such as how are we going to pay the bills if you decide to start writing that travel book? Or, too many others are already doing this or you’re not good enough) can distract us by sounding very logical and rational. It is up to us to be on our toes and question the thoughts and assumptions as to their validity and purpose as they arise within our minds, shape our lives, and inflict upon our future success.
Step Two
Questioning Assumptions
An assumption is a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without evidence or proof.
That sport’s day, I had arrived to compete in the race, full of my own self-inflicted assumptions and fears. Some were absorbed from my family, whilst others were a pre-existing mish mosh of anxieties about not being good enough, being a middle child and so on.
I did not know that those anxieties and fears arose from assumptions within me.
Q: What were some of your assumptions you made that day?
A: That no one would cheer for me. I was an outsider, different and I was the wrong color to win. I had upset the order of things.
Q: What evidence do you have to back up the assumptions?
A: No one cheered for me. People looked at me funnily after I won. No one congratulated me.
Q: What conclusions did you make?
A: Better not to win because I am going to get negative attention and my win felt like I didn’t deserve to win. No one cheered for me because I was the wrong color.
Q: Do you know for sure that that is what those people were thinking?
A: No
Q: What do you know for sure?
A: I felt nervous and afraid that day anyway. Winning the race just added to something that was there already.
Q: Did those assumptions and conclusions make a positive impact on your life?
A: No. They made me close down and feel like a failure.
Q: What would happen if you could let go of those assumptions, ie no one cheered for you because of your color, people looked at you funnily, you are a failure?
A: I would feel freer. Maybe even less burdened. As I sit with that idea and become quiet, I imagine different outcomes for me. Maybe I could be a winner, come in first for a change!
This is a small example of breaking down assumptions, why don’t you give it a go and see if you can uncover some of your assumptions that no longer serve you.
Step Three
A new path
One of the best ways to identify and let go of assumptions is to employ your inner voice or intuition to the task. Want to try? You may be surprised by what you learn here.
Take a deep breath and close your eyes. Allow yourself to relax for a few moments as you inhale and exhale. Now on your next breath in ask your inner voice, your Higher Self to show you a current failure creating assumption that you need to release. You may need to repeat the question a few times, just listen quietly for the answer, it may come as a feeling, or a knowing or words and images.
Once you perceive the assumption take a moment to feel what it creates in your life, the pulse and scope of its reach into your life. Be rigorous in your reflection here.
Now take another deep breath and ask your body where you hold this assumption/s in your body. We store the stories of our lives in our bodies and our assumptions are stories. Feel into your body. Listen by quietening down the mind and distractions. Once you can locate the assumption, ask that place in your body what color it wants to be released. Take the first color you perceive and imagine it pouring into that body part. Use all your imagination muscles to visualize the assumption dissolving. Become free of it.
Inhale slowly and feel what has shifted within you. Is there more space? Quiet? Connection? Give yourself a few moments to be in this energy before opening your eyes.
Make some notes on what you learned and released in this exercise.
Failure is not a forgone conclusion. Its existence is fuelled by us subtly and overtly. We can untangle ourselves by taking the simple steps I have outlined in this and the previous 2 posts.
Now your turn, what does your future success look like without the failure narrative? Are there assumptions that you need help identifying? Contact me and let’s get you on your way to brighter futures.
by Navjit Kandola
Last week, I shared a story from my childhood with you of my winning a sporting event, which resulted in my coming in 2nd and 3rd place for most of my life. I had concluded that I didn’t deserve to come in first place and that if I came in first it would mean disapproval and negativity. So, I chose either to not pursue dreams or if I did, I didn’t set high goals for myself.
This conclusion brought with it a silent pain. A pain of feeling unaccomplished and deep unease because I was envious of others’ (family, friends, colleagues) successes. Fortunately, I was able to use the following techniques to overcome my negative conclusions and expectations. I put myself back on the winning path and I can help you to do the same.
Today, I want to dive deeper and share some techniques with you that I have used to break the negative repercussions and repeat failures that simple conclusions can generate.
We have many choices and tools that can transform even the most hurtful experiences into life nourishing, self-confidence boosting realities. Failure or viewing ourselves as unworthy or undeserving only points to a limited perspective of a bigger whole in which we can be engaged players.
Let’s take the memory above and apply these 3 simple sets and see how they transform pain and repeat failure.
Step One
A different approach – pay attention to your head and heart. If I could have been with my younger self that day, I would have told her to focus on her body and strength, her breathing and what she wanted to accomplish versus focusing on what she thought others were thinking.
I would have encouraged her to listen to her heart’s desire and how she wanted to feel about herself instead of her fears of others interpretation of her. Do you ever or have you ever found yourself focusing on the negative self-talk instead of on how you want to feel?
Take a moment and write down memories or experiences where you allowed your fear to take the lead instead of your desired feelings/results. How did it feel and what was the outcome? Now make a second list and write down what would it be like to follow your feelings instead of fears? This is a huge distinction that you want to anchor in and practice in your daily life.
If you find yourself heading into a difficult situation, take some time beforehand to get clear on what you would like to achieve and tap into your strengths (feelings) that you can use to generate those goals. Ask yourself: how do I want to feel during and on the other side of this situation? Then do everything in your power to generate those feelings.
A clear, connected head and heart relationship creates deep self-knowledge and confidence for any imagined or real battlefields. Practice this step every day from the start of your day, for projects, in relationships; basically for everything.
Next week, in step two, we explore assumptions and how to figure out which assumptions are ruling your life and leading you away from a fulfilling, rich life.
Thank you for reading my posts and please share them with family and friends; you never know when a simple technique can be the ray of light in someone’s unspoken darkness. See you next week, my loves.
